Forgiveness

 

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I was wondering and decided to include everyone in my wanderlust to see what your thoughts are on the subject.

Have you noticed there are many who expect forgiveness for things said and done, as though it’s their right?  While others cannot forgive themselves for slight errors much less weighty ones? It made me ask, is it a matter of conscience, some have one, others don’t?

Personally, I find small hurts or slights and unintentional wounds easy to forgive.  But what of the other “stuff” the huge life changing grievences perpetrated upon our person?  How do we get to forgiveness with those?

I’ve witnessed through news reports, parents, husbands and wifes, mothers and fathers forgiving a perpetrator (too harsh a word?).  One of many examples, a drunk driver who had taken the life of another.  Although grieving, achingly so, I watched a video taken in a court room of a mother and father forgiving  a young man who’d taken their very young daughter from them.  In an astounding act of the ultimate in digging deep past the hurt anger and pain, they wrapped the young man in their arms as he sobbed uncontrollably.

I had to wonder whether I had it in me to reach that depth of forgiveness and understanding.  I suppose it would depend on the how and why of the situation and whether carelessness played a part, whether it was a premeditated act, or truly accidental.

As I’ve aged, gracefully or not, this question continues to haunt me.  They say letting go and forgiving is a healing to you and in no way negates the acts the perpetrator has committed.  I often wonder.

 

 

 

26 thoughts to “Forgiveness”

  1. Such a complex issue this is. I think those who are able to forgive, regardless of the magnitude of the transgression or the motivation behind it, are able to purge their anger from their heart and thus perhaps ‘save’ their life and that of the one who committed the transgression, from being totally consumed. Being far from perfect, I struggle at times to forgive without imposing judgment and qualifications.

    1. I understand where your coming from, and I understand that part of it. I find I can’t get to forgiveness on a life altering happening in my life and wondered how others managed. Been working on this one forever and still havent gotten anywhere. I kind of left it in “gods” hands if he’s the reader of hearts then he knows where I am and has the capacity to affect change.

    2. I suppose I struggle because it doesn’t consume my life, but it surely has affected it in ways too numerous to imagine. Still I wonder, since there is no time limit on this, whether I’ll ever get there and how I’d know when I did.

      1. Yes, I see what you are saying. I wish I had a good answer as to how to reach that point of forgiveness, but I do believe if and when it comes, you will feel the weight being lifted.

  2. It all depends on how you see the world and the other people. If you see everything apart/ individual and separated from each other and on top of that you believe that everybody has control over his deeds/thinking/acting and is fully and completely responsible for them then forgiveness will be something beyond your comprehension.
    
But if you are open to see that the separation is a kind of illusion, that we are all interconnected and that there is such a thing as synchrony of acts/thoughts etc. If you understand that everything what happens has its sense and is an effect of many different aspects, if you see that what somebody does is a result of what was done to him/her earlier and even a result of our own subconscious believes/thoughts/fears… and that we have maybe 10% control over our acts and the rest is depending on the subconscious programs then such an issue as forgiveness will not even exist, because there will never be anything to forgive

    1. In most situations I would agree 100% but I don’t believe that because your mother say was abusive it creates an out for your behaviour you choose to behave as you do since you know what that abuse is like so…. just a thought

      1. no, of course not, the thing is they don’t choose, they just don’t realise (at this moment) or don’t know that there is another way. But forgiving for me doesn’t mean saying “for this and this reason you are excused and may continue”. Forgiving means acknowledging for myself that what has happened happened and for 99% there was no chance to avoid it. What happens afterwords with this person is something else

  3. I avoided learning who the drunk driver was who killed my sister. I didn’t want to hate this person. I do hate the lack of remorse and defamation of her character as if that is the reason he should not be responsible. A remorseful person I can forgive.

  4. I had hard time forgiving others but what it brings. Bad mood ,whole time I was consumed in it. But by practising forgiveness one starts living in present. Our mind create a lot of filters from past experience. Forgiveness is a way of retaining that filter and still moving on in life.

    1. I understand what you mean. I don’t have any difficulty for the most part. I think in terms of serious transgressions against another, not words or minor hurts, it would be far more difficult. However, it’s a personal journey each must undertake, and when you do understanding and relief come with it, don’t you think?

      1. Yes, that is true. There is always a positive side. The difficulty in forgiving other or even ourself is how we perceive the damage or transgressions. It is subjective. The more aware we become in life , the more caring and loving , the more we can understand ourself and others.

        Yes , it is a journey but for whom ? That is a question to think and ponder. Who are the people along with you. I believe thinking of life journey as one’ s own mission make us rigid rather thinking of it as a marathon where you hold a light which has capability to l

  5. I agree, we include any who join us on the path, their lives interject with ours for a reason,perhaps it’s to be involved in the journey of discovery or perhaps to help us on our journey, whether they provide the positive or negative side, or we do.

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