What a relief!  Knowing is.  It never ceases to surprise me how far the mind will take us in the wrong direction when we don’t have answers.  For instance, unknown aches or sudden and unaccountable pains can lead our mind into territory that is frightening, overwhelming,  allowing us to worry needlessly.

Questions about a relationship when the significant other acts strangely (out of character) for no apparent reason often causes us to doubt ourselves and feel insecure, making the reality of the given situation feel insurmountable.

When someone says you do this wrong, that wrong, something else wrong, your never good enough, right enough, exact enough, always pointing fingers in your direction (even though you know deep inside it’s not true) you may take it on.  Remember when someone points a finger at you, there are three pointing back at them.  That’s usually a good indicator of what the reality is.  If someone cares, they don’t point fingers at you, they help you question the reality of your situation to clarify it, not place blame.

Of course for some things, it’s true there is no answer, certainly not to why, in most cases. That one can drive you crazy.

When you know what is and the reason for it, you can cope.  You automatically find answers to living with what is and gain perspective and settle.

I don’t know about you, but I find in any given situation, I don’t question the other person’s motivations or reasoning, but I question mine first.  Once I have answers as to where I am, what I’m thinking and feeling, then I ask questions of the other individual.  Their answers relieve my mind considerably even if they aren’t answers I wish to hear.

Knowing gives you such power, protection, perception.  I guess my thought on this is to ask the question, accept the answer and then move on.

I had to mention this in response to Elaine’s prose for the day.  Those of us that take responsibility seem to question ourselves first, others secondly.  Without answers, we will tend to feel guilty, take on unnecessary blame and carry a lifelong burden that isn’t ours to carry.

I have to mention how proud I am of any individual able and willing to look in the mirror and face themselves and the painful truths of what life was dishing out, what they’ve overcome, and continue forward. Able to move forward with the knowledge of who they really are, the depth within.

 

 

18 thoughts on “Knowing.

    1. I figure actions speak louder than words and your daughters realize this. but it was special saying it out loud, for you, and for me. Cause I walked that path I know how it feels.

        1. There’s one saying I absolutely hate, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. BS we never asked for this we were born into it. The other is god gives you whatever as a test. BS if he’s the god of love, then he isn’t responsible someone else is, which brings me to the thought if you believe in god, you have to believe there is a satan. period amen.just a thought.

          1. But how can we help others if we don’t know what it feels like to experience what they are going through lol ???? it’s our free will that leads us down the wrong paths. God doesn’t send us

          2. Exactly! You don’t have to experience molestation to understand there are severe consequences for the individuals involved, you know it, no instruction required. I think it’s the same with everything. Either you have compassion empathy care and affection or you don’t and are completely self absorbed (ie your ex) who was unwilling to accept responsibility for his actions. That’s the trouble with today’s world. People are creating whimps where words destroy let alone actions. The world in general needs to toughen up. That doesn’t make it right or correct to bully or be mean or cruel, just that we seem to be raising people so unwilling and incapable of standing up for themselves or letting it run off their backs that they are “destroyed” by something someone says who is immaterial to their life. We need to instill in children and others “strength of character” and looking at WHY people are in a mode of trying to destroy others. just sayin

          3. lessons we learn through life are valuable (well for some) and increase compassion empathy love and care. That’s on us if we’re willing to learn them, hehe.

  1. I so agree with you. For me, I find negative people exhausting… I always try to remind myself that we really do not know why people do what they do, or what their motivation might be. Even when wronged, you never know if the person somehow felt slighted or bothered by something you did (and you did not realize). People are such complex creatures – and seeing as even I do not know why I do what I do (all the time – okay, most of the time) I don’t know how I can assume about others. Love this post.

  2. That mirror is not so easy to look in as it usually has a covering however honest our intentions might be. We approach the mirror as ourselves after all. Great post Phyllis ????

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