Associate – Sheryl’s Daily Prompt



Sometimes an association made by drawing a parallel with or connection to
a certain individual - and one that immediately brings negative thoughts to
mind - only comes to light and pops into our thought process later in life.
As an example, your beautiful firstborn child is either about to be born
or you've waited until after the birth hoping to choose a name better suited
to the baby; either way, as mother and father discuss the possibilities, the
list dwindled as several names are immediately discarded.  Why?  The name
was instantly associated with an individual (often a child in school) with
whom you still associate negative thoughts.  The name is tossed out of the
running as an absolute no!  Why?  Because the name(s) are instantly
associated in our mind, through our personal experiences,  with someone
we didn't like, who treated us badly, were miserable to us in some way
whether it was name calling, bullying, or their general attitude toward us
and others, that immediately erased the possibility of using that name for
our precious gift.  A name we forever associate with dislike, distrust, even
hatred for and won't consider under any circumstance for our child. Were
all children named Pamela or Jeremy miserable children? No,  but the
association stuck so that the name became synonymous with a negative
thought response or behaviour.

Unfortunately, people associate negative behaviour bad habits and more
on a race, religion, belief system in accordance with a long held dislike
even hatred for (not on personal experience with any one individual) but
based on a belief system their parents held regarding an aforementioned
group that was instilled and learned simply because this person is of another
colour, belongs to a differing religion, or what have you.  All people of said
distinction are immediately painted with the same brush, detested, hated,
considered a threat because they were born into a family belonging to a
a different culture race or held differing religious beliefs.  They are part of
and thereby a thought process begins - they "must be"  because!   Further,
anyone standing up for their rights must be as vile as the people they stand
for and are as equally hated detested and dispised by association. 
Instead of realizing that one individual was the cause of pain, the inability
to seperate that individual from "all" the Pamelas spread to every Pamela
met until the end of time. 
Only through a great deal of soul searching and thought provoking
consideration, can we seperate the individual from the name and the
action.

2 thoughts to “Associate – Sheryl’s Daily Prompt”

  1. Interesting association with names and prejudice.
    I don’t like holding grudges, so no names are off limits to me because of someone from the past. I might not like the sound of the name, though.
    When it comes to race, etc. I understand what you say, and agree that there are some people who act that way. However, I like to think that I do not. 1 person does not make the whole population. But if there is 1, then 2, then 3, then 4… there is a pattern, and then you can try and figure out the reason for it.

    1. Exactly! I’m not prejudice and I’ve tried to understand how it begins, where, since babies and little ones don’t see colour or differences, mine didn’t until they were 5 and my daughter noticed a black man and asked in a restaurant why he was black, and how he got that way. She hadn’t noticed that our closest friends (husband was black) and (mom white) and we discussed it then and there and the entire restaurant was listening in to see what my response would be. Another occasion, we were on a train in Vancouver and a pregnant East Indian woman got on and I gave her my seat. The entire buss stopped breathing as we continued on a conversation and as we left the train I wished her a happy delivery and baby. Her husband stood with his mouth gaping open and their son stood smiling at us. My kids waved back at them as we got on the platform. As the train pulled away, everyone sat or stood to stare at us as if we were an anomaly.

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