Believe

Believe

I want to believe, really I do

Meeting you so out of the blue

Has me hoping for the best

Fills me with some unrest

But trusting doesn’t come easily

Others trusted, dealt treacherously

With my love affection noticeably

Now I stand back watching reflectively

Until I discern what your motives might be

No longer simple easy or carefree

I test not trust, it’s the way it is

And I’m sorry that it’s come to this

To win my heart, you must be true

Transparent through and through

It may take awhile to win my heart

I must tell you this from the start

Don’t begin if you can’t see it through

One day there could be a breakthrough

Don’t set us up for a great fall

If you’re not in it for the long haul

 

 

 

Blindsided 129

Maggy worked freelance allowing her different options such as travel if she wished, working in an office or at home.  She wasn’t ready for the worry and responsibility that came with owning a business, and that was ok.

They ended up in Port Hardy, together, because Cassy had scouted out the location in advance, done all the leg work for a business and figured it could fly. Since Maggy was free to work from any location, and she loved the area too the decision was made.

There simply wasn’t a single plausible reason to suggest Maggy wished her harm. It was just too preposterous to contemplate.

Ok, England!  Casting her mind back to their trip, she tried to determine if anything went down she may have forgotten.  They’d visited museums, enjoyed the theatre, shopped, even partook in excursions to outlying areas to visit interesting landmarks.  But did anything unusual happen, anything of particular note?

Although she hadn’t met anyone she had kept in touch with, she remembered Maggy had.  She’d have to ask to see whether Maggy remembered anything peculiar that happened. As far as she could recall, nothing happened personally that could be linked to the current situation.

 

Superficial

Superficial

Thanksgiving is a special day

Full of fun, games, child play

A day to appreciate

Even to anticipate

Gathering of friends and family

A day without anxiety

Air to breath, food to eat

A day that was oh so sweet

Filled with appreciation

Even heartfelt supplication

Nothing superficial here

Though we may yet shed a tear

Reaching out to others who

Felt so much the same as you

Sharing caring loving being

Memories sometimes fleeting

We hold on to them so strong

Often gathered singing songs

Thankful though we be

Mindful of others less carefree

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blindsided 128

College – she’d had a few good friends, like Mable Osgood, Franklin Thompson, a minor blip having decided college life wasn’t for him – too much work, there had been Joceline Manchester, Harold Watson and Maggy, of course. Other than Maggy, she’d lost touch with the others.  There were a fringe of people they hung with occasionally, but nothing stood out as important either. They were just a bunch of college kids, having fun as time permitted.  Their group, hadn’t participated in the pranks the others had, but they weren’t averse to having a little fun either.  So although they weren’t the outcasts, they weren’t included with the “in” crowd either.  They had been accepted by everyone, probably for that very reason.

The idea of considering Maggy a suspect was completely abhorrent and the only reason she even entertained the possibility was because she’d known Maggy the longest of all her friends.  Perhaps if they put their heads together, they might generate possibilities they might not have included since no romantic interest was involved.

They’d been best friends since they’d first met in an exercise class.  It was a mutual friendship built on respect, dignity and care not to mention they were so alike in personality.  They both enjoyed a good joke, many of the same activities, likes and dislikes.  There were differences, of course.

For one, Cassandra willingly risked venturing into her own business.

Page 128                                                                          Page 126

 

Blindsided 127

“Suggesting he was watching even then – had to be and it’s the only explanation for the timing of the damage to her eyes,” Craig immediately suggested.

“Craig, I want you to run a discreet check on hospital personnel.  It might be a long shot, but if he isn’t a hospital employee, then he might have contacts there.  He found out about her eyes from someone; Cassy hadn’t even told Maggy about it at that point.  The only people aware of the situation were the hospital staff and the doctor.”

Unbeknown to the men, Cassy had been sitting on the stairs listening.  It was eerily perfect she thought.  She had to agree, the only logical course of action, the only game plan available, was to attack again.  This time, it would be more dramatic, she was sure of it.

She quietly returned to the bedroom, she had some thinking to do.  Hopping on the bed, she grabbed a notebook and began making a list – if nothing else to occupy her mind.  But still, it could generate some possibilities they hadn’t considered.  She started with a list of the events and their occurrences adding questions along the way while creating a time line of events.

-Eyes – glass in December

-escalating injury – May

-emails – middle of May

-she learned the condition was eye sight threatening – 15th of May

-attack on her home – middle of June

-attack on Craig July 1st

-phone calls July 3rd

Ok, she needed to generate a start point – start point, start point – it could be anything, who knows how long this guy had been out there.  So, if she went back say eight years, used college as a start point, and continued up to the present, when she’d started her own business, it would cover a large majority of the new comers in her life.  Who had she met during the past eight years that was significant enough to consider?  This called for critical thinking.

Blindsided 126

“We’re definitely on the right track, we’ve got him reacting – and if his current pattern continues, he’s going to slip up and we’ll nail his ass. I don’t think he can help himself.  Anger is over-riding judgment.  He was furious enough to attack the store in retribution, then you.”

“He hasn’t attacked Cassy, he hasn’t crossed that line.  Yet!  He’ll attack someone else though, either someone in close proximity whether a family member or someone that means something to her. He can’t let this go.”

“He may have been a step ahead of us, but I think we just cut the distance down and closed the gap.  Whatever he has planned, we had better be ready for it because he’s going to hit hard and fast.”

“He’s smart, I’ll give him that, but he’s unstable and that instability will be his undoing.  He’s lost his edge.  Difficult to say how long he’s been planning this, but my guess is, it’s been awhile.”

“Doc Jamison said that the bacteria would take several months to grow and only in optimal conditions.  Who knows how many tries it took to perfect.  Then, the ‘happy’ accident with the glass in Cassy’s eyes, and although we can’t pin that on him, it couldn’t have happened at a more opportune time.”

Genius

Genius

He had a talent, gift, a flair

Of which he seemed unaware

Everything he touched was pure

If he was on the case, it was sure

To bring positive results so sweet

The outcome so concrete

The end result would be divine

His genius was simply sublime

He quietly went about his work

Such a pleasure, his handiwork

Quietly gently carrying on

As though a silent gentle song

Played in his mind connecting dots

Quickly unraveling the knots

The end result a piece of art

Always setting this man apart

Fashionable

Fashionable

Her look said chic stylish and classy

Everything about her was so snazzy

Slender tall and fashionably set

The colours of a beautiful sunset

Rich, vibrant, alive like the season

Looking beautiful beyond reason

He quickly slid an arm around her waist

She was not happy at his embrace

I stood quickly, ready to intervene

From her expression, nothing to glean

Until her eyes locked onto mine

Her expression heady as wine

A slight nod in my direction said

I understood I’d not misread

Hoping to avoid a nasty scene

Unspoken words now hung between

I backed off, her expression understood

The fallout would never be good

As I walked back to my seat

Her reaction was oh so discreet

Raising a stilletto, she crunched down hard

His expression changed it was now marred

With pain and he quickly stepped back

He’d received undeniable payback

Moving away lest anyone saw

The encounter, noticing his faux pas

Moving away, her head was held high

Subtly she winked as she walked by

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blindsided 125

“Ideally he sweeps heroically into her life and says, I’m here, lean on me, I’ll take care of you.”

“Using threatening messages, creating an aura of fear; expecting to add another layer of desperation, hoping that since she’s already feeling vulnerable, he’s increasing that vulnerability ratio, taking it to another level. That works.”

“Yeah,” Max continued, “then he tries to destroy her credit rating, making her financially dependent, or so he thought.  Fury motivates the hit on the store – goaded into action I’m positive – at witnessing our night on the beach which suggests two things.  One, he was close, witnessed the evenings activities, and two, he was so enraged so furious, he struck out blindly, without thinking.  It still worked in his mind.  Destroying her livelihood would devastate her and further compromise her financially.”

“He knows we’re involved and he was telling us that right off.  The only glitch in his campaign is he has to continue overtly, accessing her credit cards, bank account, then cutting the power, figuring at the very least it would place her in a frightening or embarrassing position.”

“Again knowing we are here.”

“Sure but all the protection in the world doesn’t alleviate fear remove vulnerability, not completely, it’s still there if not consciously, subconsciously.  He’s saying, hey, I’m still here, I haven’t gone anywhere. They can protect you, but only I can stop this, I have control.”

“When he struck out again, I was on the receiving end,” he rubbed the back of his head.

“He’s panicked and feeling frantic.  His actions have shut him out, his plan has backfired.  We’re still here.  He’s not.  All he’s able to do is contact her, listen to her voice, hear her breath.  He won’t stop now.  So what’s his next move?   My bet is he’s going to insinuate himself into her life somehow, somewhere and soon.”

“He’ll step up his game, make it more personal hoping she’ll react which is his end game,” Craig added.

Spectacular!

The sculptures of British artist Sukhi Barber frequently display figures in meditative postures, with parts of their physical structures erased, rendered totally blank. The emptied portions appear in the form of holes, layers, slices, blocks and lines within a metallic frame. These cancellations do not make the bodies weak or hollow, rather they illuminate the […]

via Representing Contemplation, Portraying Negative Space: Sculptures by Sukhi Barber — On Art and Aesthetics

Deny

Deny

I could protest it was true

This attraction out of the blue

A decent man I’d found in him

He made me smile, it’s not a sin

Warm, funny, entertaining too

A man I found delightful who

Brought pleasure with a thought

As I looked upon gifted flowerpot

His face, his smile, his brown eyes

He’d caught me off guard, a surprise

My heart I’d guarded so carefully

Was it possible, he was my destiny

A man I could finally trust

Someone to share passion and lust

Time would tell the truth of all

I contemplated dropping the wall

Attraction I could no longer deny

As a delighted heartfelt sigh

Escaped my lips as anticipation

Filled me with contemplation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blindsided 124

Check her email will you?  I have a sneaky suspicion  he didn’t stop at phone calls.  I’m betting he moved on since she can’t ignore her email as easily as a phone.”

Craig went to the lap top on the dining room table.  Sure enough, her email was full and every bit as colourful as the phone calls.  They’d apparently begun when the phone calls ended, sometime around 3:30 in the morning according to the date and time on them.

“Now is that anyway to talk to the woman you love? Really bad form if you ask me,” Craig observed aloud.

“Surprisingly, there’s nothing over the top, which is what I had expected; pretty much more of the same as on the answering machine,” Craig observed.

“Ok, time for a quick recap: we know he’s responsible for the damage to Cassys eyes, the Doc pretty much determined that.  The goal has always been vulnerability, the more vulnerable, she is, the more likely she’ll need someone to lean on, ostensibly, him.”

“I’m more than a little surprised he didn’t take Maggy out, especially when he saw her step up.”

“I wondered about that too!” Craig agreed.

“Usually these things escalate – start small and work up – establishing he was here for her all along, proving what an upstanding guy he is.”

“I agree, but this guy has an agenda and a very specific reason for the way he does things.  The ultimate goal is having her turn to him.  He’s not physically available to her.  Why?  Is it someone she met and doesn’t trust (with good reason) is he striking out at her for something?” Myerson mulled aloud.

Page 124                                                                                   Page 122

Interest

Interest

She feigned an interest in the others

A group of friends and another

He stood out, tall broad and smiling

Everything about him was beguiling

An instant attraction brought satisfaction

A newness and interesting attraction

The feeling lured her to the circle

The ongoing struggle internal

Don’t let your guard down silly one

Even though it might be fun

The bigger picture and why you’re here

To the rules of the game you must adhere

You may be enchanted, excited too

But if your not careful, it’ll be the death of you

 

 

Blindsided 123

Not even ten minutes later, the phone rang again.  “Hello?”

“You hung up on me.”

“Look, I don’t know who you are, but you undoubtedly have the wrong number.”

“I need to talk to you, hear your voice.  It’s been too long.” he suggested. Cassy placed the phone under a stack of pillows and flopped down. Max was sitting on the bed beside her.  She mouthed, how long, before gesturing ‘hanging up’.  Max gestured back, give it 2 minutes.  Cassy sighed, waited, then hung up.

“He could keep this up all night you know,” she remarked barely contained frustration threading her voice.

“I’ll take care of it.”  Max hustled downstairs and set the answering machine to kick in on the first ring and within seconds, the light was blinking.  He’d have his work cut out for him tomorrow.  Correction, the tech guys would.  Before heading back upstairs, he filled Craig in.

Max was up, showered and changed before Cassy woke.  A coffee in hand, he checked the answering machine.  It was full.  Busy guy, busy night.  He definitely hadn’t slept much.  It was small satisfaction, but satisfaction none the less.  Max listened.  The calls got louder and more obnoxious by the minute as disbelief turned to anger and frustration, and that’s when the obscenities began.  “Colourful, isn’t he?”  Max said aloud.

“Wow.  Haven’t heard some of that since, god, I was a teenager and trying it out,” Craig agreed.

“Do we let her hear it?”

“Depends on whether Cassy wants to hear it or not.

Page 124                                                                              Page 122

Athletic

Athletic

I watched his strong athletic body

Full of grace, languid yet sturdy

Walk to the door taking all in stride

I wondered if he had something to hide

His look taking business in with a glance

I suddenly wondered if he could dance

He seemed confident solid and more

Self-assurance oozing from every pore

He was the law I’d just found out

Certainly, he should carry some clout

I liked strong men, sure in themselves

For I was no slouch myself

Our heads would butt that’s for sure

I was positive I would endure

Getting the story was my plan

I looked back, my eyes deadpan

I was a journalist he was the law

In this small town named Chippewa

 

 

 

Blindsided 122

In the dim light, she nodded her head, before answering.

“Hello?  Who is it?”

“It’s me, darling.  Sorry I couldn’t be with you tonight.  Looks like you were having fun.  Imagine how much more fun it would have been with me at your side.”  Cassy laid the phone under the pillow and motioned to Max that it was him.

Picking up the receiver she said, “Man I’m so groggy, I, who the hell is this?  You got the wrong number.”

“Darling!”

“Nope, don’t know you wrong number.”

“That cuts deep, Cassandra, darling. Don’t you recognize me?”

Again she placed the receiver under the pillow.

Max had retrieved a piece of paper and pen and wrote, “Hang up.”

“Man I got’ta get some sleep,” she said, “I got’ta go.  Check the number and dial again.  Nite now,” she said in an off-hand manner.

“Well, it seems we got his attention again.  I guess the party was a smash success.”

“Probably means he’ll be calling back.  You prepared? “Max asked.

“Yeah, if he calls back, I’ll just put the phone under the pillow.  I really have to get some sleep.”

“Good plan.”

 

Popular

Popular

 

Many wish to be included on an A-list

Popular famous continually persist

In finding ways to be accepted

Into a certain group, connected

Whether prominent or trendy

They pay a pretty penny

Becoming their own saboteur

Losing who they once were

Of what is real and what is true

Honest emotion they subdue

 

 

 

 

Blindsided 121

Not for the first time, she wandered over to the bed, climbed in torn by emotion.  God he was so sexy with those silly pajamas and sexy lips.  He was hot!  Phew, cool down girl she admonished herself.

Max similarly realized it was becoming increasingly painful to lay in the same room with her, denying all he was feeling.  The attraction had blossomed into full-blown lust need excitement and desire.  Feelings he was desperately trying to contain.  Keeping a lid on them was questionable at best.

“Nite,” he said after she crawled in and turned out the lights.

“Goodnight Max.”

She lay there for a long time, before she finally turned over and fell asleep, thoughts of Max foremost in her mind.

Standing in his hotel room, he seethed.  How the hell was she enjoying this?  The answer was, she wasn’t. She was pretending.  He’d turned her head.  It was momentary.  Before long she’d realize that she was his.  He’d make sure of it.

 He ‘d been shocked when he’d driven by and witnessed the crowd in her place.  How the hell had she managed that on such short notice?  He thought he’d taken care of it, having hydro disconnected.  It was great she was so buoyant, it bode well for their future, but damn it, not now, now with him!

And here he was standing on the sidelines, watching, observing, when he should be the one at her side, holding her, loving her, touching her.  Well, as he couldn’t sleep, he’d make the most of it.  He’d call, let her know he was thinking about her.  Let her know he was disappointed she hadn’t thought to include him.

 He couldn’t call from a traceable number; so he hurriedly pulled on a light coat, and headed out to find the nearest phone booth to call from.  As he drove, he went over what he’d say.

 Cassy woke from a deep sleep, inclined to believe the ringing phone was part of her dream.  By the time she realized it wasn’t and had hauled herself up, it registered that this could be the perp.  Max thumped up the stairs two at a time.”

Page 122                                                                            Page 120

Circle

Circle

I have found a circle of friends

People I want with me to the end

Smart fun witty and sometimes wise

Even though I can’t see their eyes

They, each and everyone

Bring a ray of bright sun

Into my life on a daily basis

Offering me a bright oasis

Of understanding, acceptance too

Easily a special place to view

Stories and tales, verses and rhymes

Many of which speak of days and times

That brought them joy and sorrow too

Each one adding a different view

Whether they be old or young

Their stories they’ve boldly sung

To any wise enough to witness them

Each and every one a gem

Though some may come and some may go

Your value to me, I must share so you know

That all you share is special to me

Like the branches of a beautiful tree

I include all the bloggers here

For each of you is very dear

 

 

Blindsided 120

“As they should!”  Maggy replied loyally.  “After all, you’re the company.  She’s wonderful, but still, just a stand it.”

Cassy laughed. “I doubt she’d appreciate hearing that.”

“Perhaps not, but it’s true.”

“Well, that’s the clean-up done.  I’m all for bed.  Man I am pleasantly tired.”

“Yeah, me too.  It was fun though, wasn’t it Maggy?”

“Sure was, like old times, and way overdue.  Glad we did this.”

“Nite guys.”

“Nite,” they responded in unison, although Craig accompanied her upstairs.

“How serious is that getting do you think?”  Cassy asked.

“Looks pretty serious to me.”

“Well I have to get to bed too.”

“Wait, I’ll turn out the lights, check the locks while I’m here and I’ll head up with you,” Myerson offered.

“A ok.”

Upstairs, Cassy used the bathroom first.  As she brushed her teeth, she smiled noting how neatly Max had installed his stuff alongside hers without intrusion or disruption.  God she could get used to this.  It was so appealing having him here, finding little tidbits of Max here and there.  She’d lay awake at nights, fighting with herself, yearning to take it to the next level,  invite him into her bed and then found herself drawing back wondering if this was the best course of action under the circumstance.  She wanted him there, no doubt about it, but she worried about rushing it.

Page 121                                                                                 Page 119

Early Autumn

A soft warm breeze

Gently rustled the leaves

Blue sky above

Whispered it’s love

Surrounding us with pleasure

Moving our spirit, such a treasure

On this early autumn day

Winter seems far away

Gliding on swiftly changing leaves

Churning colour marking all it perceives

Late afternoon sun

Held naught but fun

 

Witty

Witty

 

He was a comic true

Witty through and through

He left us all in stitches

With laughter and hitches

Laughing until we hurt

So delightful was his mirth

He hid his own pain well

It was impossible to tell

The depth of sorrow felt

And where he often dwelt

Compassion care and love

Second nature, like a glove

Yet deep within his psyche

Lived sorrow oh so mighty

He left us all too soon

From his death, we’re not immune

Leaving in his wake

Both laughter and heartache

 

 

 

 

Blindsided 119

Shawna and Kevin Barrister were the last to leave.  “That was great fun, Cassy.  I really enjoyed myself.”

“I’m so glad, Shawna, I have been meaning to do this for ages.  I don’t know what stopped me, but I’m thrilled we did it now.”

“Drive safely.  Take care, ok?”

“Nite.”  Shawna hugged her close.  “Talk to you tomorrow.”

“Oh, the bar is a smash hit.”

“I thought it would be.  Well I hoped so anyway.  I’m just a little disappointed I wasn’t there to see it.”

“How’s it going with Treena?”

“She’s great.  Good choice.”

“Awesome.”

“Well, g‘nite.”

Closing the door she asked, “Was it my imagination, or did Shawna seem a little distracted?”

“She did,” Maggy agreed.

“Wonder what that’s about?  Think maybe the store is too much responsibility for her?”

“No, I think she’s enjoying that part.  I’ve received lots of emails to that affect from customers.  They say she’s been very helpful, although they miss me.”